Queen of the Lines
by Inbetweentheraindrops
Summary: Artemis is Queen of cheesy pickup lines, no matter what Wally or Batman say, she is the best. Right up until Robin strikes gold. Traught. Crackish. AU. Standard disclaimer.


**Timeline? What time line?**

 **Mostly crack, you can thank my sister for this. This is a result of a conversation we had while eating dinner, sorry not sorry.**

* * *

"Dude!" Wally shouted nearly toppled over as Robin grabbed the banana from his hand practically from his open mouth.

Robin cackles and jumps over Artemis who was reading a book on the couch, he landed heavily on his backside.

"Robin," Artemis growled and pushed him a little farther away from her. "I'm not the couch, don't sit on me."

"But you're so comfy." Robin laughed spreading himself over her lap, she quickly raised her book higher to keep the bird boy from crushing it under his body.

"Get off." Her face was unamused as she poked Robin's forehead as he stared up at her from her lap.

"Did it hurt?"

Artemis froze, her brows furrowed, "Did what hurt, birdbrain?" She asked grabbing his shoulder and shoving him up into a seated position. Wally took that time to take back his banana and the seat next to Robin.

"When you fell from heaven?"

Artemis snorted, "No, but I scrapped my knee climbing out from hell."

Robin and Wally both stared at her with wide eyes.

"What? Not a good response to his lame pick up line?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You didn't even have to think about it." Wally breathed, she shifted slightly uncomfortable seeing his eyes light up with stars. "That was the most epic comeback ever!"

Robin nodded and moved in closer to her form. "Do you have others?"

Artemis rolled her eyes, but marked her spot in her book and placed it on the coffee table. "Comebacks, or pickup lines?"

"Both." Robin latched onto her arm.

She sighed and pried his fingers off her arm. She turned to Wally with a smirk. "Are you Cinderella?"

"No?" Wally looked confused, his banana hung in his hand forgotten.

"Cause, I can see that dress coming off at midnight." She winked.

Wally didn't get it at first before blushing bright red, "My childhood!" He whined.

Robin laughed and grabbed Artemis' arm again. "That one was epic."

Artemis smirked at him, "My name's Artemis, just so you know what to scream."

Robin's mouth dropped open.

Wally whooped, "Can I use that one?"

Artemis laughed and looked back at Wally, "My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to."

Wally blushed bright red, and spluttered. "I-I"

Robin tugged on her arm, she looked back at him. "Where did you learn these?"

She winked and put her index finger in front of her lips. "I don't kiss and tell."

"You dated guys that used those lines?" Wally dropped his banana and leaned over Robin's shoulder.

Artemis laughed and removed her arm from Robin's lose grip. "No, but I would have at least thought about it really hard before telling them no."

Robin and Wally sighed as one.

"What? Did you both think my standards were that low?" She scoffed picking up her book and standing up. "That's really messed up." She shook her head at the two boys who were denying the claim and walked out of the lounge room.

* * *

"It's not the size of the boat." Wally announced to Artemis as they left the hanger and Batman behind.

"What?" She stopped and Robin nearly ran into her back. M'gann looked over her shoulder at them, and Conner kept walking. Kaldur looked at Wally with an 'are you kidding me' look on his face.

"It's the motion of the ocean." Wally finished with a big grin and a wink.

"I think that there was supposed to be a pickup line somewhere in there." Artemis raised an eyebrow and looked over her shoulder to Robin to confirm.

Robin shrugged, "I think he's telling us that he doesn't have the full package."

Artemis laughed as Wally spluttered, "Dude! So not cool!"

"Oh, Wally, we don't care if you have the full package or not." M'gann tried to comfort him with a hand on his shoulder.

Artemis threw her head back and laughed, Robin was in stitches holding his middle and leaning heavily on Artemis with laughter. Kaldur had a hand over his mouth muffling his chuckles. Wally groaned. "Thanks, Megan."

"Of course Wally." She smiled and squeezed his shoulder again.

"Should we tell her?" Artemis asked wheezing from the floor next to Robin.

"Nah," Robin caught his breath, "I don't want to be the one to explain to J'onn that we corrupted his niece."

Artemis smirked and looked up at the red faced Wally, "For a pickup line that one was particularly sucky."

"Like you got a better one!" Wally shouted back at her with a frown.

If it was possible her smirk got bigger. "I'm on top of things, would you like to be one of them?" She winked and Wally choked.

Robin started up again with his laughter and Kaldur put his hand over his eyes.

* * *

"I'm Mr. Right, someone said you were looking for me?" Robin burst out in the hanger seconds after Artemis entered the room.

Artemis stopped walking, she turned and blinked at Batman who was looking over at the two of them with a scowl. "I'm sorry?" She turned back to the troll that stood in front of her with a hand held out for her to shake.

Robin sighed and deflated, "Pickup line." He muttered with a frown.

Artemis sighed, "Good try. Loads better than Kid Idiots, but I'm going to recommend you don't pull those out in front of Batman."

"Care to explain," Batman asked gruffly a couple of feet behind him.

Robin stiffened and turned red, "Oops." He turned around quickly, "We have a competition going on who can use the best pickup line."

"I see." Batman's scowl lightened slightly, "Who's winning?"

"Me." Artemis crossed her arms over her chest with a smirk. Robin sighed and nodded his head.

Batman smirked, "They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you."

Both teens blinked at him, "That one was weak." Artemis shook her head and Robin hung his with a sigh.

Batman's smirk never left his face as he crossed his arms, "Really now?"

Artemis winked and moved forward with a grin, "Do you have an extra heart? Mine was stolen."

"There's only one thing I would like to change about you, your last name." Batman countered.

Artemis laughed, "Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?"

"Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?"

"Can I follow you home?" Artemis placed her hands on her hips with a victorious look on her face, "Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams."

Batman's smirk fell back into a scowl.

"What, you can't top that one?" Robin asked wide eyed and slightly slack jawed.

"I can see why she's winning." Batman patted Robin's shoulder and walked away.

"Dude, you out lined the Bat." Robin looked back at the smug girl. "Teach me?"

"Then I wouldn't be winning anymore, now would I?" Artemis hip checked him and walked away.

* * *

"Hey, Artemis?" Robin knocked on her door again. "It's Robin."

"Go away!" Her voice was muffled but obviously close to her door.

"They didn't mean it." He tried again, "He didn't realize-"

Her door swung open cutting him off, Artemis stood there, her eyes narrowed in anger. "Didn't realize?" She scoffed. "He knew exactly what he was saying. If he didn't, he would have been the one pounding on my door for an hour. Don't lie for him." She snarled and she went to slam the door in his face.

He stuck his foot in the door and shouldered it open, she blinked and backed away finally noticing the nine inches of height and at least thirty more pounds of muscle that he had gained in the last two years. "Hey, don't shut me out too." He closed the door behind him.

She frowned and sat on her bed.

Robin glanced around for a second taking in the nearly barren room, only the green sheets, and the small work station that held her spare arrows and a spare bow as well were the only touches that told him the room belonged to her. "Look, Kid Idiot was jealous." He took a seat next to her on the bed and ran a hand through his hair.

She scowled at him, "That doesn't mean that he can get away with calling me a whore."

"You're right." Robin sighed again. "Just because the 'target' only wanted to flirt with you did not justify his actions." Robin stripped off his mask and looked at her with tired blue eyes.

Her eyes widen and her jaw drops slightly, "You-" She cuts herself off with a laugh, "Of course it is, you little troll." She pushed his shoulder with her own. "You were waiting for this moment weren't you?"

He smirked and brought up a picture on his wrist computer. "Said we were going to laugh about this later."

She let out a soft laugh, "That you did, that you did." She poked his chest. "You changed the subject."

He laughed as well. "Not very subtle was I?"

She shook her head, "Okay, I get it, be mad at Wally, not at the rest of the team." She threw herself back on the bed. "Raven just loved my pickup lines."

Dick laughed and laid back down next to her. "You really are the queen of the lines." He nodded sagely before turning to her with a smirk, "Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?"

Artemis smiled and leaned up on her elbow to gently touch her lips to his. He made a surprised sound in the back of his throat and blushed to the tip of his ears, and nearly whined when she pulled back. "That one was impressive." She winked.

Dick opened his mouth and closed it again with wide eyes.

"Your eyes are like the ocean, and I seem to be lost at sea." She whispered staring into his eyes.

He cracked a smile and grabbed the back of her head to bring her lips back to his own.

"Finally." She muttered against his lips.

* * *

 **My sister is taking the blame for this one.**

 **I'm totally a fan of Traught, any one else?**


End file.
